Tidus! You dawg!
by magicalsvuffxbuttons
Summary: What if Tidus had been a dog when he washed up on Besaid!


We own nothing… :D

A big cold wave washed over Tidus, waking him from his slumber. He yelped and sat upright, his head was spinning. He blinked and looked around, he felt very strange, and short. No really, shorter than usual, the ground looked to be about two feet away from him. But how was that possible? "Man, I must be stoned or something." he grumbled, mostly to make an excuse for how he could be on a strange beach in the middle of nowhere... as a midget. He looked up from the sand and noticed a redhead playing blitz ball several yards away. "Aye Chihuahua!" he thought to himself. Suddenly his eyes adjusted fully to the light. The figure became more than just a blur of red and orange, coming more into focus. "Aw crap! It's a dude!" realizing his horrible mistake Tidus backed up a step and his tail abruptly stopped wagging. Wait, tail? Tidus sure didn't remember ever having one of those... Weird... "Ok, I must really be stoned." he decided "I should ask that guy for help, perhaps he's a fan." So, putting his shame behind him Tidus ran forward towards the man who had stopped playing now, blitz ball in hand.  
"Well, hey there you. Are you lost?"  
"Ummm yeah, I'm Tidus."  
"Whoa there ya, no need to shout." The man added shaking his hand in Tidus' face.  
"What the hell is this guy talking about?"

"Hey Wakka! Who's your furry friend ya?" One of the other players shouted at them.  
"I dunno, just some mutt I guess. Maybe I'll keep him."  
"Oh, I'm sure Lulu will like that!" The other player laughed before turning back to his warm-up.  
"Wait! Dude, what are you saying? Hello? Hey are you listening to me!" Wakka chuckled.  
"Boy, you sure are a noisy one ya, I think I'll call you Coco. Ready Coco! Get the ball! Go get it!"  
"Coco!? Are you freaking serious?" Tidus demanded as Wakka waggled the blitz ball in his face. "I mean really, what kind of a name is Co- AH BALL!" Unable to control his impulses Tidus lunged at the ball as Wakka threw it like fifteen feet in the other direction. It is unclear whether these were the instincts of a dog, or a heavily medicated blitz ball player, but either way Tidus darted after the ball and returned it to Wakka, tongue lolling with glee.  
"Awww, good boy Coco!" Wakka said with a pat.  
"Wait I'm not a dog!" Tidus insisted, though all Wakka could hear was a long stream of barking. "I'm a real boy I swear! I'll prove it to you with my blitz ball skillz!" Wakka threw the ball again, not because of Tidus' request just because he felt like making the dog run again. Tidus galloped after it, he jumped up attempting a mid-air somersault so he could grab the ball and threw it back. Of course, dogs don't do that, (sorry Air Bud) and the attempt was an utter failure. He crashed back onto the ground; a cloud of sand grew around him. "Ouch! Ya!" Wakka shouted, obviously not that sympathetic. Suddenly a new voice resounded.  
"That dog is a retard." Tidus blinked the sand from his eyes to see a woman standing somewhat further from Wakka, more in the shade of the forest of tropical trees than on the beach. She had on a long black furry dress thing with a very revealing neckline, very. "Aye Chihuahua!" this time his hopes were not to be dashed. She stepped out of the shade toward Wakka who had run up to greet her. He grinned. "Come on Coco! Come see Lulu ya!" Wakka whistled patting his thighs. Normally Tidus would ignore the call to pull back a little of his hurt pride but the urge to see this newcomer up close was far too magnetic. He ran up, his tongue flapping out the side of his grinning mouth.  
"What is that thing?" Lulu demanded, shoving a purple nail down at Tidus once arrived.  
"I found him on the beach his name is Coco."  
"Well, I can guess all that. But please don't tell me you plan on keeping it." That hurt. Tidus' smile melted away. He sat and frowned (well about as close to a frown as a dog can come).  
"But Lu-"  
"Wakka, the things like suicidal. I mean did you see what it did just now? Besides, the last thing I need is another insane wolf on this island."  
"C'mon Lu, he was just trying to be like his master. Huh boy! You just wanted to be a hotshot like daddy!" Idiot! Tidus bit at Wakka's finger.  
"You know what, I'm done with both of you. Keep it if you must." Lulu commented before heading back in the direction she'd come. Her pointlessly braided hair swung around her as she sauntered away. Wakka turned to Tidus.  
"E ryja lraaca eh so culgc, pid E tuh'd fayn culgc cu oui lyh'd duilr sa! Caqo dryhk! Ymcu Zurh Sihlr gelgc ycc uh Myf yht Untan cbaleym jeldesc ihed. Ku Keyhdc!"  
"Ummmm what?" Then Wakka's head started getting bigger and bigger and BIGGER! Then it exploded into confetti and there were multicolored dancing Lulu's everywhere. The world spun at impossible angles, stars shot around everywhere, and Yuna was... singing? Please, like that would ever happen. The rainbow Lulu's continued to dance, this time to the beat of Yuna's crappy Jack Johnson on ecstasy melodies.  
"U'l ur niefir?" Tidus asked a purple colored one, with a voice that sounded a lot like soul train. She just smiled sweetly, leaned back, and... spat in his face.  
"Huh?" Tidus proclaimed as the scene melted away and he shot upward.  
"See I told you spitting in his face would work!" Rikku giggled.  
"Eww Rikku that's gross!" Yuna insisted pushing her cousin gently. There they were, all gathered in a circle around him, all twelve of them.  
"But it worked! See I'll do it again!" Rikku said as she readied more saliva.  
"No!" Tidus yelled pushing her face away. "I'm ok, but what happened?" Everyone looked at one another uneasily. Auron who seemed the least interested, raised an eyebrow, he stopped the jug that was coming toward his lips.  
"You don't remember?" the blonde shook his head innocently. "Well," Auron took a swig and smirked. "You, Tidus..." Rikku cut him off  
"You were stoned!" She squeaked.  
"Explains a lot doesn't it?" Auron added knowingly.  
"Yeah, it sure as hell does."


End file.
